To say that the last six months have been full-on and overwhelming would be an understatement to say the least. There has been so many occasions where I wanted to start writing again but it just hasn’t happened. I’ve missed having this as an outlet to not only express myself but also to clear my head. So, let me catch you up on what has been happening over the last six months.
Minus a couple of specifics, I have the life that I always dreamed of having. The truth is that I’ve had that life for a while, but I just hadn’t acknowledged it.
I must have sat on the floor for all of two or three minutes throwing myself a pity party. During that time I mentally berated myself for (but not limited to): worst Mum ever; getting upset and raising my voice at a baby; mimicking the behaviour of a one year old and then saying no; for emotionally scarring my child by behaving like a nut case and wondering when my neighbours would be calling child protective services.
For a period of time, I didn’t feel like a person anymore. I felt like a (incredibly exhausted, vomited and faeces covered) body wandering around with two HUUUUUUGE breasts attached. The downside of breastfeeding for me was feeling as though the milk bar was ALWAYS open.