Lesson #15 – This week I was fired… By my one year old.

Milk drunk

This week Ollie fired me from my job. Not my job as his mother, but my job as his breastfeeding mother.

Breastfeeding is a funny thing. As I mentioned before, I never allowed myself any other option than to exclusively breastfeed Ollie. It was breastfeed or bust for us. I wish I had known in advance that it can actually be difficult. I had an assumption (how unlike me right?!) that you have a baby and then they just latch on and off we wander into the sunset holding hands together.

I remember deciding that I would feed him until he was one. As I have since discovered, things don’t always go according to plan. In fact, when it’s involving me, they very rarely do. Surprise! No, not really.


I know that there are people out there who genuinely love breastfeeding and their goal is to feed for as long as possible. I was never one of those people. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that closeness with my little boy and also the convenience of a ready to eat meal with no notice. There was also the fact that my pregnancy weight fell away in the blink of an eye of course coupled with my constant mind blank when it came to eating (not a ‘diet’ I would recommend).

sunday8Here’s what I feel I probably shouldn’t say, but it’s the truth…… For a period of time, I didn’t feel like a person anymore. I felt like a (incredibly exhausted, vomited and faeces covered) body wandering around with two HUUUUUUGE breasts attached. The downside of breastfeeding for me was feeling as though the milk bar was ALWAYS open. It’s draining (literally). It meant that everything was always revolving around me and my boobs (and not in the way that it did pre-baby – Sorry Aaron!).

Ollie had terrible wind and I read somewhere (thanks Dr. Google) that there are things called ‘Windy Foods’. That is food that the mother eats that can potentially cause wind in the baby through breastfeeding. So in an attempt to restore some sort of calm to our house, I cut out (at different times for varying periods of time): dairy, citrus, broccoli, caffeine, Nutella (sob), chocolate and many other things. At the time I was so desperate for a reprieve that I was willing to do anything. Nothing worked and it was something that he eventually grew out of. If only I’d had a crystal ball so that I didn’t have to give up coffee and Nutella.


I was so determinded that I would breastfeed and not comp feed at all. By doing so, I put yet another completely unwavering and unreasonable concept on my ‘Must do list’. I put so much pressure on myself because I hadn’t allowed any other options. Lesson learnt. Yet again.

sunday7So imagine my surprise when Ollie decided earlier this week that my still lactating right boob (poor left boob has been out of commission for some time – click here for more on that!) was no longer needed. It was a fairly unceremonious firing at the callous hand of my son. He latched on in the night and after about 10 seconds he got off, opened his eyes and slapped me hard in the boob. He then made his cranky face (the same as my cranky face – thanks a lot genetics), slapped me again and rolled away from me. I have since tried to feed him but with no success.

All signs now clearly point to being made redundant from my prestigious job as  Mummy Milk Maid. Here’s the kicker, I’m actually a little bit sad. Now that the boobie feeding train has seemingly reached it’s final destination I’ve realised that maybe I wasn’t ready to pack up my breast pads quite yet. Nonetheless it would appear that my boobies can go back to serving a purely decorative purpose. I know that Aaron is VERY happy about this.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Purple People Breeder says:

    The same hapened with me when my boy got to 1 year and some weeks…he kicked me and slapped me, i had that protection thing over my breast, we always used those, and he just took it and throw it away, i tried for some time to see if he changes his mind but no succes…. anyway, they wont go back to normal, your boobs, i mean i had to get medicine to stop the milk and now they look like some used bananas….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I hear you! They definitely don’t look the same as they did before. I’m not exactly sure what they look like at this point to be honest. Size wise they are almost back to being the same which is a plus. I’m trying not to look at them too closely for a while yet! Thanks for your comment x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. @Lolly_Mommy says:

    I have an Ollie too. 🙂 That’s funny he chose to let you know he’s done through boob slaps! Lol! It makes sense you’re sad about it even though you didn’t love it because it was such a HUGE part of your life for a whole year! But now he’s ready to be a big boy and move onto a new phase of babyhood. Congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mumma! Oh my Ollie is very good at communicating his displeasure for something. He’s such a funny little boy and makes me laugh so much. Not so much of course about boob slaps in the middle of the night. I can’t believe he’s a little boy now, it’s crazy! Thank you so much for your comment x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. cdouce515 says:

    What a bittersweet time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Miriam says:

    I know that feeling, so bittersweet!

    Liked by 1 person

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