Welcome to being 37 weeks pregnant! Guess what preggo? Your life is about to change. Things will never ever be the same again, and that’s okay. In fact, it is pretty wonderful. Believe me, I know.

Here’s a few things that you need to know about the last month of your pregnancy.

Take more naps before the baby comes. When other mothers tell you to catch up on sleep before the baby gets here, listen to them. They will be saying this to you because they probably wish they had gotten more sleep and they know what’s in store for you very soon.

Stop running around and over doing it, just relax. Sit down and put your feet up. Eight months pregnant is not the perfect time to think about rearranging all of the furniture in your house and trying to clean the ceiling. Take more naps and put up your feet so that your cankles don’t get out of control.

When you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don’t decide to re-pack your hospital bag for the third time that night. What you have got in there is absolutely fine and if you need more things, your family will pick them up and bring them to the hospital.

Go out and pamper yourself. Go and get a hair cut, have a relaxing pregnancy massage or get that facial you’ve been thinking about. It will be a long time before it even occurs to you to do these things.

Take pleasure in showering for as long as you want to, washing your hair on a regular basis and going to the toilet alone. Sounds crazy right? Believe me, you’ll know why soon enough.

Do not give in to your weird pregnancy cravings and spend three weeks binge eating McDonald’s cheeseburgers (in secret while sitting in your car). They will just make your already bad heartburn even worse. Put down the cheeseburger(s), you will be happy that you did later!

Stop feeling bad that you no longer fit into clothes that you wore last month or even last week. Embrace stretchy fabrics, especially those yoga pants! You are growing a person and your body will continue to change right up until the end of your pregnancy. This is normal. Don’t fat shame your pregnant self you silly thing.

Don’t even try to wear high heels at this point. Your centre of gravity is off and you are fairly clumsy in general. This is just a recipe for disaster. Stick with your faithful friends Miss Slippers and Mr Ballet Flats. Your feet (and cankles) will thank you later!

People will say things to you like, “Are you still pregnant?” “Are you sure there’s only one in there?” or “I feel like you’ve been pregnant forever!” Resist the urge to physically assault them and just nod, smile and waddle on. You aren’t the first pregnant person to hear these things and certainly won’t be the last. In fact, I happen to know that you have uttered those same words in the past.

Stop consulting Dr. Google every time you have a weird feeling. Actually, stop Googling all pregnancy and birth related topics all together. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. It might also be a good idea to stop binge watching episodes of One Born Every Minute and comparing yourself to people featured on the show. If you are genuinely concerned about a symptom, just ring the OB instead. You know him right? The highly qualified, experienced and respected DOCTOR to whom you are paying lots of money.

Save yourself the trouble of trying all the home remedies to induce labour. Oh and there’s no need to go for those long walks up steep hills either. That stuff isn’t going to work, you’re going to need help of the professional kind to get this show on the road. Which is completely okay by the way. You haven’t failed because you need this help. That lousy cervix of yours (click here for the post about Ollie’s birth) just won’t come to the birth party.

Good luck lady! You are in for a wild ride!

Click HERE to jump to Part 2 or HERE for Part 3!